16 October 2007

secrets of happiness

What makes you happy? I don't mean the euphoric-manic, fleeting, on and off feeling but the kind that's peaceful, serene and permanent even in the midst of troubles and misfortunes. I learned late in life the inverse proportion between happiness and my needs (including the need to be happy)...the less my needs are, the more that I can be happy. And learned that you can't look for happiness. It just sits still for you to embrace it.

Happiness comes from contentment, in giving (generous people are always a happy bunch) and acceptance of things that you cannot change. Optimistic people are happy people. They see a half-full cup rather than a half-empty cup. Happiness depends on how you resolve sticky situations in your life. It also is reliant on how well you can study people and their motives and intentions and choose your friends from among them.

Being able to forgive and forget is a secret to life-long happiness. "He who lives happiest has forgotten most" says Robert Anton Wilson. I agree. Being unforgiving, combative, hateful, envious, proud, greedy give way to disenchantment and discontent. It will only leave a gaping hole in one's heart and a disposition that's unsmiling, haughty and disrespectful.

Be less needy, generous, optimistic, forgive and forget, choose your friends - these are secrets to being happy.

2 comments:

Noor Saada said...

Hi Jasmine! Belated Eid al Fitr al Mubarak!

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. Truly appreciate the effort.

The Sulu-Brunei thing that I blog about is a big thing in Tausog areas. There are active royalists who would like to see the sultanate reconstituted and this Sulu-Brunei connection, particularly the Sabah Claim is a hot issue. Probably, one of the reasons why they are several claimants.

My thinking in writing the blog is to unearth what is often least understood.

Dinazad said...

Dear Noor,
Thanks for dropping by. It was nice to discover your post about historical connections between Brunei and Sulu. I hope you will continue to write more of that.

Countless people here in Brunei have expressed their descending from Sulu ancestors particularly the Shahbandars of Sulu (do you have anything about the Shahbandars?)

I am pleased to indulge in this tete-a-tete about ancestries altho' I would not go far as the issue of reclaiming lost territories (lol).

Assalamalaikum. I will be reading your posts soon.