aging with grace

Have you been struck with thoughts of aging lately? Aging, in my opinion, is well...you can't stop the clock (in short).

My aunt who is part-Chinese has turned seventy, yet she looks like she just had her fortieth birthday. I asked her what sort of magic she did? Was it a face-lift? (Partly, yes, the eye region). Exercise? (Yes, all sorts. I remember her favourite, the "LA Walk". Go right, step,step,step.). Love/sex? (Everything to do with it!!!).

When the time to decide comes, it would be a no-no to surgery. Aside from religious qualms, its the blood and the gore that goes with it that is so unacceptable. I've seen a few of "Plastic Surgery" on TV. I always did turn my head away. Was that a garden hose suctioning liquid fat? The nurse did not bat an eyelid!!! Ughhh!!!

I know, there are several alternatives, to name a few: botox (heard there is a 'fatwa' against it), retin-A, lasers, lip plumpers, etc.

But don't forget---the natural ways: exercise, eating the right food, emotional balance, brain boosters, etc.

And here are some tips from beautiful women I know who are aging gracefully:

When you sleep, do it with your head elevated by several pillows, this way, you keep fluid from pooling around your eyes while you sleep.

Use sunscreen (quite bothersome, really).

Exfoliate, exfoliate! to remove dry flaky skin and then load yourself with moisturizers.

Appy a good foundation. It should match your skin colour. Too light a foundation helps to show the crows.

To avoid a "pulling down" effect, brush eyebrows towards the hairline and fill in with an eyebrow pencil or powder the colour of which should be a shade lighter than your hair.

Don't forget to SMILE!!! It's a natural face-lifter.

anti-thesis

The "iron butterfly" is back in the news. She thinks she will be acquitted of all thieving charges against her and family. Everytime she appears on the news, she is in her usual bravado style but sadly, really out of touch. Her generation was one of "hypocrisy" brought about by a bipolar society; of women of low self-esteem relentlessly climbing the social ladders. She will be part of history.. labelled forever for her notoriety. I remember gawking at the enormous shoe display and me and friends, the wannabe women activists telling ourselves, "these could have fed a lot more mouths".

My daughter will be less socially conscious...the reason is that she has not seen poverty and its consequences around her. (She lives in Brunei, lah!). If she gets to read this, then, I could have shared a lesson or two. I hope she will come to know and experience those values that give lives meaning and direction...honesty, justice, hope and best of all, charity. I love you sweetheart!!

heroine

Aunty Munah ---- she who babysat nephews and nieces including my hubby

searching for role models - a woman of the village

My friend, who was my classmate in the grade school and who is now an accomplished writer wrote this piece: "...on one unusually calm dawn (a woman of the village), had gone out to the open bamboo platform of her stilt house to wash herself for the dawn prayer. She looked out to the sea and saw a giant tidal wave, like a glistening snake rolling across the horizon, approach the seaside village. Murmuring some prayers, she bent over to pick up a brittle stick, held it up at both ends, and broke the stick into halves. Before the giant seawall could reach the village, it parted and collapsed under the weight of dawn".

The story is one of magic and mystery but gives a powerful image of Faith in Allah. Will my daughter be mesmerized with this woman of the village as I was?

searching for role models - Scheherazade

Perhaps, not many of us have heard of Scheherazade who was the daughter of the Grand Vizier (Chief Minister) to Sultan Shahriyar, who for three years had taken a bride each day only to be killed the next day. The killings were done out of revenge to his Queen who had betrayed him. One day, Scheherazade told her father that she wanted to marry the Sultan. Her father was horrified but eventually yielded. With the connivance of her sister, Dinazad, she survived each day by telling the Sultan tales up to their most interesting point but would suspend the finale for the next day. These tales were eventually called the 'Arabian Nights'. Scheherazade's stories were told in a span of 'one thousand and one nights'. Finally, the Sultan convinced of her greatness spared her the gallows. It has been said that by telling her stories, Scheherazade saved herself, her people and also the Sultan from becoming a monster.

Scheherazade might prove to be a controversial role model, but she imparts a powerful image difficult to ignore.

spiritual golf

Today, after eleven years (my daughter's age) I played golf with my husband. I have forgotten how I enjoyed playing this game. To completely recapture this almost forgotten bliss, I searched my diaries and found this entry which I wrote on 18th August 1994: "Friday mornings are for spiritual golf, and more mystical is that Friday mornings are spent with my husband. A smile from him is all what I need for the days ahead."

searching for role models

Excerpts from my diaries (Dec. 2000)
My four year old daughter is easily entranced by those Disney heroines. At this age, she gullibly takes it all - the antics, the magic and the charmed lives of Mulan, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Belle and Ariel. These characters are her role models at the moment. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them if one views them as they are, except that I worry a bit about the cultural and racial impact they have on a very young mind. Besides, Disney has been accused of distorting history as in the cases of Mulan and Pocahontas. It would have been ideal if my dear daughter had an inspiration from women in our own culture.