speechless

SMS sent back and forth today -

Hubby: I got hole in 1 at hole no 2
Me : Wow
Hubby: Tq n love u 2
Me : Wow
Hubby: Tq again n love u more

loves of my life

This is the picture that makes my heart skip for a second. My treasured piece of memory of sheer joy is etched on these grains of colour and on those glorious half-smiles. Nothing else matches this.

the last 100 days

Our lives have gone on like the minute hands in our clocks. There's no stopping and pausing. My poignant wish was to take a time out and take stock of our lives and what we have been doing. I was being my thoughtful self - sort of looking in from the outside. Then, I realized there is a way to evaluate our lives. I would devise a summary of our lives every 100 days. So here it is for the last 100 days:

- led our lives with wry wit and humour
- ignored the Joneses
- confronted the unknown and the uncertainties
- wrote
- travelled some highways
- prayed and bared our souls
- wished for the stars

- came out of our shells

- broke out from our prisons
- did balancing acts
- fought for our rights
- cared for pets
- ate well
- rediscovered happiness in giving
- loved our parents, siblings, children and each other

Did you pause to think about your last 100 days?

rebel no more

One of the pluses of a good marriage, I think is the calming effect that it gives a couple. Most of the time, the both of you go on agreeing together on things that concern your children's welfare whatever the means and the methods. I used to put my foot down, protest with all my might, against traditions, superstitions and any folk-isms that may creep in our lives, e.g., the fatalistic "kapunan", etc. But, when you see the confident faces, the bravery, the sense that everything will work out well for the family, I can now and then, go along with the tide and get used to those pseudo-rituals. A good marriage works like a covenant. It mostly deals with peacemaking - and trust and faith on both sides.

one true love

My alter-ego who is just across the room engrossed in his laptop sends me this e-mail he got from one of his friends in the States. I adore anecdotes like this:

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT!

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. I had to share it with you all.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

as i see it (2)

200 lashes by being with someone who is not related to you and then raped many times? I am sure my father, who is himself a judge in Shari'ah will say "@!#@!#@!#; he never did have high regard for those from the Middle East. During his pilgrimages, he had fistfights with them. History repeated itself when my husband karate chopped one during "the stoning" because of that man's rudeness to us, fellow pilgrims. My brothers (descended from warriors) have the same "haj" stories - being in fights with them. Spare the snake in the desert if you have to choose between two antagonists, they would say. Remember the trauma of Sara Balabagan who fought her would be rapist? How can we of the same Faith differ vastly? I hate to overgeneralize and reinforce stereotypes, but I ask, how many of "them" would cry out for justice for this poor girl who may just wish to die from those lashes?

England vs Croatia

This morning at dawn, I woke up to my husband lamenting on the current state of English football. England was losing to Croatia at Wembley and was on its way to elimination from Euro 2008. "Where is Mickey Rooney?", I asked sympathetically. "Wayne Rooney", my husband corrected. Upsss, I slipped - showed my lack of passion for the game and my bias towards Hollywood. P.S. Mickey Rooney starred in movies like National Velvet, Black Stallion, Night at the Museum, etc.

in honour of one great man

Nothing beats a Grand Reunion to demonstrate the vibrancy of family ties. Last Sunday, we were part of an important gathering of two hundred families belonging to the late Pengiran Haji Metassan Rajid bin Pengiran Abd Rahman Piut. From where I sat looking at the Power Point presentation of root and branches and from someone unbiased who became a part of the family by virtue of affinity, I not only see a family that has ties to royalty, going back to Sultan Saiful Rijal and up to Sultan Bolkiah but I also see a family that gives importance to loyalty and giving service to the country. This is a family that produced two ministers, a general in the armed forces, two police commissioners who also served as ambassadors, and a palace chamberlain. Many of us, including me, work in the government in many different capacities.

The Grand Reunion gave us an opportunity to meet with family members who we rarely saw or would have recognised elsewhere. It also gave us a chance to honour a great man who, most of us, have not met. I can only surmise that he lived a full life, because from him descended some of the well-known cheterias of Brunei. This is one person who lived history and most probably gave a legacy of giving to the country.

multiplicity

There are some things and events on my side of the family that my husband clearly remembers. Just the other day, he recalled the TV interview of my dad at that time when he was acknowledged as one of those who helped in the administration of the Code of Muslim Personal Laws of the Philippines (a consequence of the 'Moro problem' as with other autonomy matters). My father was trained in civil law but was called along with other Muslim judges to this momentous event that would put the Shari'ah into perspective.

The interview dealt on the Shari'ah, the codification of the Muslim Personal Laws which is unique only to India and the Philippines, and other pertinent matters. By the end of the discussion, on a personal note, the interviewer asked if my dad would take four wives. My father in reply said, "No, I would not want to have four mothers-in-law".

Of course, it was meant as a humorous riposte.

i love my husband

So syrrupy and so corny! I know, but I can't help writing about my husband. It is just very convenient. This is a happy time for him because all the kids (not little anymore, really) are here together once more. The oldest one is back for a short vacation from her posting in Europe. My husband, their father is in a blissful state. The children are all grown up now (Meeza is almost in her teen years, the older ones in their early twenties), and all we do nowadays is sigh, sigh, sigh, at how lucky we are to have them. All of them are beautiful, very sweet and loving in their own identifiable ways, very ambitious, very zestful in life.

What can I say about this man in our lives? The first thing that comes to my mind is how so comfortable we are with him. This is what basically describes him - easygoing. He is funny, very indulgent, open, unselfish, and would do anything for any of us. My mom-in-law, yieldingly, said to me once, there is no mountain high enough, no ocean deep enough (or to that effect) that my husband will not navigate - for our sakes - the four women in his life. Those words resonated in my ears a thousand times. And I am thankful and feel blessed for that.

splendido

My husband has fallen in love with Taal, the cold mountain with a lake and an active volcano in the middle. This is where Splendido, the golf and country club is cocooned. He just had discovered Splendido, but I already feasted on the beauty of Taal long before I even met him. I am glad my husband found Splendido and Taal.

My parents always brought us here when we were children. The long trip, for us, started along the coast of Manila Bay and wove into the smaller roads festooned with fruit stalls. Along these roads we experienced the sight of freshly cut beef from Batangas cattle that hanged on rods and also smelled the brewing of the coffee called "Barako". A barako literally means a thug or a bully. This is the coffee that raises your adrenaline, I know.

In the vicinity of the famous lake, there are quaint, European-like houses owned presumably by well-to-do families. My husband is reminded, he says, of countryside England because of these houses and the cold climate.

As a child, I looked for my favourite fruit when we stopped over at the stalls. It is called 'tiessa' and it looks like a ripe papaya on the outside. The taste is like a chiku gone chalky, my brothers would say. But, it did not discourage me and I suspect I had more Vitamin A because of the 'tiessa'. All of us liked the 'atis' (sugar fruit) because of its unbelievable sweetness and we spit out the seeds to hit on each other. I found the pictures of these fruits (Marketman's) and I am brought back to the magic of Taal.

waterloo, bournemouth

A conversation like this comes up now and then.

MEEZA: Where is 'waterloo'?

ME (remembering the battle movie): It was where Napoleon Bonaparte lost. It was his last battle. Rod Steiger was Napoleon in the movie...

HUBBY(with 'stop it mom look' at me) : Waterloo is the railway station where Daddy used to take trains from London to Bournemouth where Daddy went to school.

MEEZA (lighting up, more interested in Dad's history than Napoleon's): Can we go to Bournemouth soon?

sungkai minds

Me: $!@#$!! I forgot to put out the dates again.

Meeza: Mummy, it's Bulan Ramadhan. Don't say bad words.

Hubby (a picture of cool): Let's not miss Tarawih tonight.

a tradition of Whiskas giving

We are threesome shopping at a supermarket near our home. Somewhere after the detergents/softeners aisle, I can see my daughter taking a large bag of Whiskas and putting it in the trolley. The following conversation takes place:

Me: Sweetheart, why are you taking cat food. We don't have cats. (Meeza is allergic to cats; other siblings are cat-phobics).

Meeza (a little bit defensive): I would like to feed the neighbour's cats (in reality, stray felines). Cannot kah?

Me (I'm having a memory of Rosalinda, my mom, handing a packet of rice to a needy person at the iron gate): Ah, okay.

Hubby (delighted at daughter's compassion): Of course, you may feed the neighbour's cats.

And so..... the tradition of Whiskas giving came into being.

birthdays

July was the birthday-est month for my family. The month started with my brother-in-law’s birthday, followed by two sisters-in-law, then my husband, my dear house help of twelve years (same day as the Sultan’s), a couple of nieces and then my brother. Birthdays always provided me with respite from work and other routines. The days become significant with plans for outings and of course, budgets for presents, cakes and other objects that give meaning to this milestone in life. Aside from giving fascination to the children in the family (immediate and extended), birthdays do provide us, adults, with thoughts of things beyond the mundane…thoughts of mortality perhaps, of aging parents and loved ones, of generous gestures to be reciprocated, of the missed, or those who are far from our hands’ reach.

On a lighter note, birthdays are always the happiest days of our lives. My immediate family has enjoyed our birthday parties for their naturalness in gaiety and giving; the painstaking preparations for food, flowers, hair (the girls’), and most appreciated of all - my husband’s loving keenness to make us – wife and children – happy. We’ve said this before and will say it again for the many years to come, happy birthday!

spiritual golf

Today, after eleven years (my daughter's age) I played golf with my husband. I have forgotten how I enjoyed playing this game. To completely recapture this almost forgotten bliss, I searched my diaries and found this entry which I wrote on 18th August 1994: "Friday mornings are for spiritual golf, and more mystical is that Friday mornings are spent with my husband. A smile from him is all what I need for the days ahead."