loves of my life

This is the picture that makes my heart skip for a second. My treasured piece of memory of sheer joy is etched on these grains of colour and on those glorious half-smiles. Nothing else matches this.

prankster mom

I had forgotten that Meeza never did appreciate the times when I became the prankster- mommy. Could be that she had a preconceived notion of what a mom should be - prim and proper. When Meeza was even less than a year old, she did not like it when I made faces. She bawled at the slightest change in facial demeanour and she detested clowns in birthday parties. Last night, in a moment of abandonment, I slipped on the green vege in my miso soup to my front teeth and gave the widest smile ever. While Aunty Cathy and Uncle Dennis rolled into tears and laughter, Meeza gave me the scolding. STOP IT, MOM! It was absolutely the Bruneian virtue of modesty lording over her. Sorry, darling, I have forgotten. Mommy will not do that again - for a day maybe?

the last 100 days

Our lives have gone on like the minute hands in our clocks. There's no stopping and pausing. My poignant wish was to take a time out and take stock of our lives and what we have been doing. I was being my thoughtful self - sort of looking in from the outside. Then, I realized there is a way to evaluate our lives. I would devise a summary of our lives every 100 days. So here it is for the last 100 days:

- led our lives with wry wit and humour
- ignored the Joneses
- confronted the unknown and the uncertainties
- wrote
- travelled some highways
- prayed and bared our souls
- wished for the stars

- came out of our shells

- broke out from our prisons
- did balancing acts
- fought for our rights
- cared for pets
- ate well
- rediscovered happiness in giving
- loved our parents, siblings, children and each other

Did you pause to think about your last 100 days?

for a cause

It used to be that breast cancer was a non-issue in our young lives; we did not really hear of anybody having breast cancer. It's totally different now; breast cancer strikes women we know; women we care for. Having a mammogram (no matter how painful it maybe)now and then may save our lives. The earlier the cancer, the better the prognosis.

Early today, I joined hundreds of other women in the Walk for Breast Cancer. It was fun camaraderie. We started with some warm-up exercises that included belly-hip jiggling that got us wolf-whistling. A Filipino fitness guy led us on this one (Pinoy talaga!). Who said, we in Brunei are repressed?! Then, more fun - we walked the whole of the stadium premises.

A day well spent - a day for a cause - for camaraderie and awareness - a time to celebrate the survivors of this dreaded disease.

draw for me

I've always kept Meeza's art work. This piece of work was done about a year ago. Meeza and I love to sketch but her work has more depth.

many things

Stork news: My niece just had a beautiful baby girl and that means I am a Grandma four times over now (will be five times a Grandma later this year). LOL, I really enjoy this added investiture. Remember, a woman is not only one thing.

rebel no more

One of the pluses of a good marriage, I think is the calming effect that it gives a couple. Most of the time, the both of you go on agreeing together on things that concern your children's welfare whatever the means and the methods. I used to put my foot down, protest with all my might, against traditions, superstitions and any folk-isms that may creep in our lives, e.g., the fatalistic "kapunan", etc. But, when you see the confident faces, the bravery, the sense that everything will work out well for the family, I can now and then, go along with the tide and get used to those pseudo-rituals. A good marriage works like a covenant. It mostly deals with peacemaking - and trust and faith on both sides.

water babies

Meeza just loves the water. When we found that she was a water baby, we enrolled her at the age of five in the swimming scheme for children at the Stadium and subsequently found that she was a natural. She was also in the Swimming Team of her school until she got bored. Her birthday was spent in the pool (at the Empire's) and then kayaking at the beach nearby with closest friends who share her love for swimming.

one true love

My alter-ego who is just across the room engrossed in his laptop sends me this e-mail he got from one of his friends in the States. I adore anecdotes like this:

THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT!

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. I had to share it with you all.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

wiped out

Meeza is up in this huge contraption called The Wipeout having fun. My feet are on soil; my heart in bonkers. When the machine stops, I'm happy to see her still whole. She says, "That was really fun! Now, can I 'ikut' The Claw?" I say, "No Way" (to foil my heart attack).

westlife's home

The commotion and excitement of the school holidays have begun. Family and friends have started the temporary "migration" to places near and far. Yet, there is no place like home. In the few days that we will be away, each of us will be missing our favourite nooks and niches at home. We've been singing Westlife's "Home" even before leaving. The song is at the sidebar and the lyrics down here........

Another sunny day,
Has come and gone away,
In Paris and Rome,
I want to go home,
Mmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by,
A million people I,
Still feel all alone,
I just want to go home,
Oh I miss you, You know,
And i've been keeping all the letters,
That I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two,
I'm fine baby how are you,
Well I would send them but,
I know that it's just not enough,
The words were cold and flat,
And you deserve more, than that,

Another aeroplane,
Another sunny place,
I'm lucky, I know,
But I want to go home,
I've got to go home,
Let me go home
Im just too far,
From where you are,
I've got to come home,
Let me come home,
I've had my run,
Baby i'm down,
I want to come home,

And I feel just like,
I'm living,
Someone elses life,
It's like i just stepped outside,
When everything was going right,
And I know just why you could not come along with me,
'Cause this was not your dream,
But you always believed in me,

Another winter day,
Has come and gone away,
In either Paris and Rome,
And I Want To Go Home,
I miss you, You know,
Let me go home,
I've had my run,
Baby i'm down,
I want to go home,
Let me go home,
It'll all be alright,
I'll be home tonight,
I'm coming back home.


[ www.LyricsTop.com ]

England vs Croatia

This morning at dawn, I woke up to my husband lamenting on the current state of English football. England was losing to Croatia at Wembley and was on its way to elimination from Euro 2008. "Where is Mickey Rooney?", I asked sympathetically. "Wayne Rooney", my husband corrected. Upsss, I slipped - showed my lack of passion for the game and my bias towards Hollywood. P.S. Mickey Rooney starred in movies like National Velvet, Black Stallion, Night at the Museum, etc.

unfortunate bunnies

The second pair of rabbits we had lived for over six years. They were named Maxi and Daisy. They never had babies. This year, Maxi passed away a few days after Daisy. So as not to upset Meeza too much over the death of the rabbits we surprised her with another gorgeous pair, who I called Whitey and Blackie. Meeza refrained from naming the rabbits this time, I guessed she did not want to be too attached to them. So, I named them according to their colours. Easy does it. Two months ago, Whitey gave birth to triplet bunnies who died just a few hours after. Apparently, Whitey bit them to death. Of course, Meeza was devastated so I asked her and Aunty Cathy and Uncle Dennis (ever dependable duo) to take Whitey to the Vet in Gadong (for psycho evaluation?). It did not surprise me that mother bunnies may actually like to eat their babies. My childhood saw gorier details of carnivorous pets eating their own. My, what a shocker for Meeza.

Yesterday, Whitey gave birth to quadruplets and immediately Uncle Dennis took them away from her to avoid another catastrophe. Here they are away from their unmaternal mama, and, as of today, Aunty Cathy has been spoon feeding them with milk from (sadly) the tin. They are so ickyyy but I really wish for them to survive.

in honour of one great man

Nothing beats a Grand Reunion to demonstrate the vibrancy of family ties. Last Sunday, we were part of an important gathering of two hundred families belonging to the late Pengiran Haji Metassan Rajid bin Pengiran Abd Rahman Piut. From where I sat looking at the Power Point presentation of root and branches and from someone unbiased who became a part of the family by virtue of affinity, I not only see a family that has ties to royalty, going back to Sultan Saiful Rijal and up to Sultan Bolkiah but I also see a family that gives importance to loyalty and giving service to the country. This is a family that produced two ministers, a general in the armed forces, two police commissioners who also served as ambassadors, and a palace chamberlain. Many of us, including me, work in the government in many different capacities.

The Grand Reunion gave us an opportunity to meet with family members who we rarely saw or would have recognised elsewhere. It also gave us a chance to honour a great man who, most of us, have not met. I can only surmise that he lived a full life, because from him descended some of the well-known cheterias of Brunei. This is one person who lived history and most probably gave a legacy of giving to the country.

multiplicity

There are some things and events on my side of the family that my husband clearly remembers. Just the other day, he recalled the TV interview of my dad at that time when he was acknowledged as one of those who helped in the administration of the Code of Muslim Personal Laws of the Philippines (a consequence of the 'Moro problem' as with other autonomy matters). My father was trained in civil law but was called along with other Muslim judges to this momentous event that would put the Shari'ah into perspective.

The interview dealt on the Shari'ah, the codification of the Muslim Personal Laws which is unique only to India and the Philippines, and other pertinent matters. By the end of the discussion, on a personal note, the interviewer asked if my dad would take four wives. My father in reply said, "No, I would not want to have four mothers-in-law".

Of course, it was meant as a humorous riposte.

i love my husband

So syrrupy and so corny! I know, but I can't help writing about my husband. It is just very convenient. This is a happy time for him because all the kids (not little anymore, really) are here together once more. The oldest one is back for a short vacation from her posting in Europe. My husband, their father is in a blissful state. The children are all grown up now (Meeza is almost in her teen years, the older ones in their early twenties), and all we do nowadays is sigh, sigh, sigh, at how lucky we are to have them. All of them are beautiful, very sweet and loving in their own identifiable ways, very ambitious, very zestful in life.

What can I say about this man in our lives? The first thing that comes to my mind is how so comfortable we are with him. This is what basically describes him - easygoing. He is funny, very indulgent, open, unselfish, and would do anything for any of us. My mom-in-law, yieldingly, said to me once, there is no mountain high enough, no ocean deep enough (or to that effect) that my husband will not navigate - for our sakes - the four women in his life. Those words resonated in my ears a thousand times. And I am thankful and feel blessed for that.

waterloo, bournemouth

A conversation like this comes up now and then.

MEEZA: Where is 'waterloo'?

ME (remembering the battle movie): It was where Napoleon Bonaparte lost. It was his last battle. Rod Steiger was Napoleon in the movie...

HUBBY(with 'stop it mom look' at me) : Waterloo is the railway station where Daddy used to take trains from London to Bournemouth where Daddy went to school.

MEEZA (lighting up, more interested in Dad's history than Napoleon's): Can we go to Bournemouth soon?

sungkai minds

Me: $!@#$!! I forgot to put out the dates again.

Meeza: Mummy, it's Bulan Ramadhan. Don't say bad words.

Hubby (a picture of cool): Let's not miss Tarawih tonight.

a tradition of Whiskas giving

We are threesome shopping at a supermarket near our home. Somewhere after the detergents/softeners aisle, I can see my daughter taking a large bag of Whiskas and putting it in the trolley. The following conversation takes place:

Me: Sweetheart, why are you taking cat food. We don't have cats. (Meeza is allergic to cats; other siblings are cat-phobics).

Meeza (a little bit defensive): I would like to feed the neighbour's cats (in reality, stray felines). Cannot kah?

Me (I'm having a memory of Rosalinda, my mom, handing a packet of rice to a needy person at the iron gate): Ah, okay.

Hubby (delighted at daughter's compassion): Of course, you may feed the neighbour's cats.

And so..... the tradition of Whiskas giving came into being.

my daughter, my critic

Last night's conversation:

Meeza: Mummy, why do you have to blog?

Me: Same reason as you do 'friendster' - expressing myself, reaching out.

Meeza: Ooohhh (with narrowed eyes meaning 'I see').

Me: Would you rather I do 'friendster'?

Meeza: Oh no, please (eyes widened)!